No, you look me in the eye! Or, "how can we make better biodiesel if we don't blow up a Jewish flag?"

A little late than never, but this story appeared last week (4/8/08) on Masslive.com.

NORTHAMPTON - A teenager accused of making explosive materials and blowing up a flag pleaded innocent to all charges today.

John E. Robison Jr., 17, of 23 Dartmouth St., South Hadley, was arraigned in Hampshire Superior Court this afternoon on three counts of malicious explosion and one count of willful placing of explosives near property. Robison was released on his own recognizance.

At the request of assistant Northwestern District Attorney Alice E. Perry, Judge Judd J. Carhart ruled that as a condition of Robison's release, he must not possess any chemicals, report to a probation officer by phone once a week and must live with his father, John Elder Robison of Amherst.

Robison's legal saga will resume on May 20, when an out-of-court pretrial conference has been scheduled. A pretrial hearing will then be held in court on June 26.

During the arraignment, Perry said Robison videotaped himself blowing up a flag using chemicals he mixed at the South Hadley home owned by his mother, Mary L. Robison. Perry also said the chemicals discovered there included some of the same ones used in the fatal London subway bombings in July 2005 and possessed by Richard Reid, the so-called "Shoe Bomber" who unsuccessfully tried to blow up an airliner in December 2001.

John Robison's lawyer, David P. Hoose of Springfield, said in court he was unaware of the accusation against his client of possessing such deadly materials.

"This is the first I've heard of anything," Hoose said, adding, "This kid doesn't have a malicious bone in his body."

After the arraignment, Hoose added that Robison did not blow up a flag, but declined to elaborate. "When the proof is done, you'll see it wasn't a flag at all," Hoose said.

State and federal authorities raided the South Hadley home on Feb. 15 and discovered John Robison's home laboratory. Officials from the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, the Massachusetts Fire and Explosion Investigation Unit, and the state hazardous materials response team removed chemicals from the laboratory and exploded them at the town landfill.

A portion of Dartmouth Street was closed for three days as officials entered and exited the home. South Hadley Fire District 1 Fire Chief William J. Judd hopes to recover the $17,619 his department spent on the incident. Labor alone has been placed at $8,844.

In addition, Judd has said he has seen footage on the Internet site YouTube of the local teenager detonating explosives near high-tension wires, but the video was later pulled from the Web site.

The interesting thing about this story is the synergy swirling around this family. Let's review: John Robison Jr., son of author John Elder Robison, nephew of author Augusten Burroughs, who's new book "A Wolf at the Table: A Memoir of My Father" is perhaps the most compelling of his "stories" thus far. It seems the Robison boys are hard-wired for eccentricity and non-traditional exploits.

In the interest of fairness, I believe all the flag blowing-up business is nonsense and that David Hoose will brilliantly defend his client (my lady-friend and I called it!).

Keeping up with the Robison's

“Oh honey, the cops are at the Robison’s again.”
“Geez, is it that freak son of theirs? What’s he done now?”
“Christ, who knows? Oh geez, the bomb squad just pulled up.”

Sound familiar? Only if you live in South Hadley and just happen to live next door to John Elder Robison’s son, Jack Robison. John, the brother of famed memorist Augusten Burroughs, and himself a memorist (“Look Me In The Eye”), recently had a crappy weekend. You wouldn’t know it though by his recent posting on his blog:

I bought my first house in 1979, to celebrate the end of the KISS Dynasty tour, and my getting a real job. I lived in that house for over 16 years through several changes of career, acquisition of a wife, creation of a kid, and all manner of ups and downs.

When I got divorced and moved, I left many things behind, thinking I’d go back and get them one day. My ex-wife remained in the house; she’s still there now. Time passed and “one day” never came for all the other stuff I left behind. This weekend, thanks to Cubby, it arrived. I found myself unexpectedly cleaning up the basement and I found these gems from my past.
jerobison.blogspot.com

The “Cubby” he refers to is his son, Jack. The back story to John’s post is this from the Daily Hampshire Gazette (2/19/08):

Jack Robison impressed experts with his knowledge of chemistry and his love of science, officials said. They would have been even more impressed, however, if they hadn't been called to the 17-year-old's 23 Dartmouth St. home to investigate why loads of hazardous chemicals purchased on the Internet were being stockpiled.
'He's a very intelligent kid,' Fire District 1 Chief Bill Judd said Monday. 'He just needs to apply his goodness to other things.'

Last Friday, a small army of state and local emergency officials converged on the quiet residential neighborhood in search of vats of hazardous mixed chemicals stockpiled by Robison.

Authorities with the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and the State Police Fire and Explosion Investigation Unit responded to the home.
After a busy weekend of investigation that included some house evacuations, the neighborhood is returning to normal.

Judd, the first chief, said he understands Robison is involved with Boy Scouts and had dropped out of high school because he was bored. Robison attends Holyoke Community College, he said. 'I think what he did was wrong,' Judd said. 'But I do think he learned his lesson.'

Board of Health officials on Saturday ordered the home condemned. Judd said the order, posted on the door of the home of anthropologist Mary Robison and her son Jack, stated the dwelling was not habitable because of hazards to health and safety.
The order was made because the house had no heat or hot water - which had to be shut off during the investigation, Judd said. Clutter was also a factor. The family is now back in the home on the condition that they clean up the clutter and that no more chemicals are stored.'The neighborhood is back to normal now,' said Judd. Officials said the student will not be charged by local police with any offenses. Selectmen did not return calls for comment Monday, nor did members of the Robison family.

I love this family. I can't get enough of them.